rise and fall

an interesting question, how friendships rise and fall. how friends remain friends because they _were_ friends, not because they are friends. How friendships endure the transition from the day-to-day of college, for example, to long distance occasional phone calls. And then have to negotiate the switch back to the proximate, the daily, the mundane. And the solution, of course, probably lies in the semi-imminent transition back to the long distance. We're friends because we're friends, but don't seem to have the time of day for a friendship when it becomes inconvenient. 13 years I've known this woman, and I'll know her for years to come. Best friends, lovers, not talking at all, disapproval, unequivocal support, not caring to comment. I'll always love her, who she was, who we were together, who she is, even. But not necessarily who we are together, now, who she is along with me, now. 13 years, I should bloody well hope we've changed. And it's not surprising that we're both complex enough to have changed, evolved, matured not along strictly parallel lines. this is something in our favor. But it's time, soon enough, I think, to "phone it in," as they say. A friendship better with distance befitting the time. Which, in turn, makes me sad for the other close friendships I've had, and had to watch change as I've moved from one place to the next. For they, too, change from day-to-day to the email, the IM, the letter, the occasional phone chat. And they, too, are probably not susceptible to the re-co-locate. And thus I, too, am off to where I started, to the beginning of an ambition stretching out longer than many of my friendships, misgivings but not hat in hand.